My immediate reaction to your question: is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea? is negative.
You need to ask yourself some serious questions:
- Why hasn’t he proposed to you?
- What is stopping him?
Some of the following may make uncomfortable reading for you … but for the sake of both of you, I suggest you read through it and really think about the future of your relationship …
Then, with all the facts, make up your own mind: is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
Every relationship is different, but ask yourself
- why he hasn’t proposed to you if you are so happy together?
- Is he a man or a mouse?
- how do you think he will he feel if you propose to him?
If he is an alpha male, he will almost certainly resent you proposing to him.
It is more than likely that he sees the proposal as something men do.
Don’t forget – men like to be in charge.
Now, while you may not agree in these emancipated times, seriously consider why he hasn’t proposed to you …
- is he too shy?
- too unsure of your answer?
- does he not want to be tied to you for the rest of your life?
- if he is too worried to put his pride/shyness on the line and ask you to marry him …
is he really the sort of man you want to be married to ?
- What other decisions in your married life together will he not be willing to make?
You do not know what you are going to have to face together. You are going to need to rely on his judgement.
I speak from experience …
At one stage I was too emotionally overwrought and incapable of making a balanced judgement on a heart-rending decision.
With time running out, it was such a relief to ask my husband to make the decision for me and agree to abide by his decision.
Now, I know those fiercely feminist women will be screaming at me now … “what a man can do, I can do” etc etc etc but they were not in the position I was in…
And, I’m not writing for them 🙂
But you are a high-quality women with grace and elegance … and there may well be times you will need some one to lean on … and those times will strengthen your marriage.
Is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
Let’s look at some of the other scenarios you may have to cope with if you do propose to your boyfriend …
- How will you feel when your friends and family congratulate you and ask where he proposed… and you say you did the proposing … is he/are you quite comfortable with that?
- What about the reaction of his friends and family?
- I would suggest that his parents, in particular, may be concerned that you “wear the trousers” (i.e. that you are the boss) in the relationship. His parents may be quite happy with it – they may not.
- Are you going to ask their permission to propose to him?
- How do you judge their reaction to your proposal? Whether you like it or not, you are going to spend quite a lot of time with his family in the future …
As far as your wedding day is concerned, is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
- Think about how you will feel walking down the aisle (or wherever) knowing that basically you forced the issue? It places the whole wedding scenario on a slightly different footing, doesn’t it?
- What do you think his thoughts will be as he sees you advancing towards him in all your finery? Do you think he might have wished he had done the proposing?
- Will you always have that little nagging doubt: is he 100% committed to our relationship?
Suppose in years to come, in the middle of a disagreement, he turns on you and says “You pressurised me into marrying you”… How are you going to feel then?
Only you can decide if proposing to your boyfriend is a good idea.
You know your relationship better than anyone else and it is your decision.
If he has talked about your future together …
- should you give him just a little more time?
- what’s the hurry?
- would you really rather he proposed to you?
What To Do Next: Download This Free E-book
If you are ready to discover much more about how men think and process feelings, download my free e-book.
Getting a man in your life is one thing … but is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
What’s holding him back from proposing to you?
Inside this free e-book, you’ll discover:
- The 7 things you need to do to make him fall in love
- Why love scares him and how you can make him more comfortable being in a relationship
- Exactly how to transition from girlfriend to fiancee, without scaring him away
- How to speak his language so he REALLY listens and understands you
- How to win over his family and friends – the key to his adoration
Click on this link and you’ll be taken through to the download page …
Enter your first name and primary email address for instant access.
I’ll also be happy to share even more resources to help with your love life 🙂
You can learn even more about this topic by reading “How do you get a man to commit to you?”. And, if you have decided proposing is a good idea, check out “How to propose to your boyfriend” for more hints and tips on making your proposal an event to remember 🙂