My immediate reaction to your question: is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea? is negative.
You need to ask yourself some serious questions:
- Why hasn’t he proposed to you?
- What is stopping him?
Some of the following may make uncomfortable reading for you … but for the sake of both of you, I suggest you read through it and really think about the future of your relationship …
Then, with all the facts, make up your own mind: is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
Every relationship is different, but ask yourself
- why hasn’t he proposed to you if you are so happy together?
- Is he a man or a mouse?
- how do you think he will he feel if you propose to him?
If he is an alpha male, he will almost certainly resent you proposing to him.
It is more than likely that he sees the proposal as something men do.
Don’t forget – men like to be in charge.
Now, while you may not agree in these emancipated times, seriously consider why he hasn’t proposed to you …
- is he too shy?
- too unsure of your answer?
- does he not want to be tied to you for the rest of your life?
- If he is too worried to put his pride/shyness on the line and ask you to marry him …
is he really the sort of man you want to be married to ?
- What other decisions in your married life together will he not be willing to make?
You do not know what you are going to have to face together. You are going to need to rely on his judgement.
I speak from experience …
At one stage I was too emotionally overwrought and incapable of making a balanced judgement on a heart-rending decision …
With time running out, it was such a relief to ask my husband to make the decision for me and agree to abide by his decision…
Hint: possibility of contact with German measles … she’s perfect and mother to our 2 beautiful grand-daughters 🙂
Now, I know those fiercely feminist women will be screaming at me now … “what a man can do, I can do” etc etc etc but they were not in the position I was in …
And, I’m not writing for them 🙂
But you are a high-quality women with grace and elegance … and there may well be times you will need some one to lean on … and those times will strengthen your marriage.
Is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
Let’s look at some of the other scenarios you may have to cope with if you do propose to your boyfriend …
- How will you feel when your friends and family congratulate you and ask where he proposed… and you say you did the proposing … is he/are you quite comfortable with that?
- What about the reaction of his friends and family?
- I would suggest that his parents, in particular, may be concerned that you “wear the trousers” (i.e. that you are the boss) in the relationship. His parents may be quite happy with it – they may not.
- Are you going to ask their permission to propose to him?
- How do you judge their reaction to your proposal? Whether you like it or not, you are going to spend quite a lot of time with his family in the future …
- Have you told your friends you are going to propose? Maybe they will be as excited as you are…but suppose he turns down your proposal? How will you cope? Will it be totally devastating/embarrassing for you?
As far as your wedding day is concerned, is proposing to your boyfriend a good idea?
- Think about how you will feel walking down the aisle (or wherever) knowing that basically you forced the issue? It places the whole wedding scenario on a slightly different footing, doesn’t it?
- What do you think his thoughts will be as he sees you advancing towards him in all your finery? Do you think he might have wished he had done the proposing?
- Will you always have that little nagging doubt: is he 100% committed to our relationship?
Suppose in years to come, in the middle of a disagreement, he turns on you and says “You pressurised me into marrying you”… How are you going to feel then?
Taking all that into account, only you can decide if proposing to your boyfriend is a good idea.
You know your relationship better than anyone else and it is your decision …
If your man has talked about your future together …
- should you give him just a little more time?
- what’s the hurry?
- would you really rather he proposed to you?
You are about to make a huge decision that will affect the rest of your life … there’s something holding him back from proposing to you …
Would like more specialist help ?
“Girl Gets Ring” may be the solution.
If you don’t have time to do this right now, (both are quite long!), Saveit/Pin it and come back to it later when you have more time 🙂
You can learn even more about men by reading “How do you get a man to commit to you?” It will give you a greater understanding of why some men are unwilling to commit…
And, if you have decided proposing is a good idea, check out “How to propose to your boyfriend” for more hints and tips on making your proposal an event to remember 🙂
Have I missed anything out? What are your thoughts/experience when proposing to your boyfriend?