How do you get a man to commit to you?
This problem causes heart-ache for so many women.
Have you tried just about everything you can think of?
Understanding what makes a man fall in love and commit to the woman of his choice is complicated.
If he’s still pulling away and you are worried he will never commit to you, read on for the answer to your question: how do you get a man to commit to you?
Here is the key:
Understand the reasons behind his concerns and don’t pressurise him.
The very idea of commitment makes some men run a mile.
Is he emotionally timid? A surprising number of guys are …
See how to cope or you risk scaring him away. Get my free 7 step-by-step guide below which shows you how to land your man … you’ll find Step 2 really helpful 🙂
So how do you get a man to commit to you?
Very few women understand how men think …. and how they process feelings.
You’ll find this video helpful … it’s quite long … about 40 minutes. It’s a real eye-opener …
If you don’t have time to watch it now, Save it/Pin it for later 🙂
We tend to think men are very complicated. They aren’t.
Here are some of the biggest reason why your man is uneasy about a committed relationship …
A man will only commit, if he is going to commit, when he knows you understand and accept his concerns on the following points …
1. He’s not mature enough yet
Some men will tell you immediately that they are not long-term relationship material.
If he loves to chase every pretty girl in sight, particularly those who have no boundaries …
Admire him for his honesty …
He’s had the decency to tell you he’s not ready to fall in love and commit …
So don’t waste your time on him.
He’s an immature man who cannot see beyond his own needs and wants.
He’s not good relationship material.
It’s possible he may still have a ex-partner still on his mind …
This leaves him confused about the future he sees with you.
He could cause you a lot of heart-ache … so move on, unless you are happy to wait and wait and wait for the time to be “right” for him to commit fully …
Fair warning : I do know a couple who have been engaged for nearly 30 years … with no wedding date set yet … so you see, you could be waiting for an awful long time …
2. He knows you are not happy with him
You keep trying to change him… perhaps telling him to dress, how to style his hair etc (Sadly, you see this with lots of married couples, as well).
Nothing he does is good enough.
You always have to moan and groan about something. He sees a miserable future with you.
How do you get a man to commit to you?
Men look for an optimistic woman who makes the best of things. That’s the way to be attractive to men.
3. He had a miserable childhood
If his home life was not happy with parents who fought all the time, he is going to be less likely to want to commit.
While you might be happy together at the moment, his past experience colours his outlook.
He fears for the future of your relationship.
Try getting him to talk about his experiences and show him love and understanding.
He needs to be given time to heal … which leads onto
4. He fears divorce
He will know half of all marriages end in divorce. He might like your company, but he’s afraid of failure in a long-term commitment.
Try to be understanding …
His childhood may have been blighted by his parents divorce, or he’s seen the effect it’s had on others.
I recently had lunch with a former colleague, who is so disappointed her son (early 40’s) won’t get married.
He’s a good-looking guy with many lovely girlfriends and a few long-term relationships behind him … but commitment is something he will not consider at any price.
She suspects it may be because she went through a messy divorce when he was young.
She feels guilty as she tried to make it as painless as possible for him.
She suspects he may have been more deeply affected by the divorce than she had realised, as it’s not something he will talk about even now.
5. He fears he will lose his identity
Do you respect his dreams and aspirations?
Are they the same as yours?
Or are you constantly trying to tell him what he should be doing, how he should be behaving?
Do you want to pull his strings all the time and get him dancing to your tune?
Unless he knows you respect him and love for who he is now, he won’t commit to you.
6. He fears he can’t take care of you
He may be worried about how he will look after his family if he marries.
The chances are that he feels it’s a man’s job to take care of you and any children you may have.
Maybe he worries about being able to provide for you, so he is worried about committing to you.
Men like to be the provider, but they like women to be able to contribute as well.
Perhaps he has friends where the man does all the providing and takes care of the finances, while the woman does as she pleases and doesn’t contribute at all.
He’s seen the stress this causes.
7. Men fear change
Most men are creatures of habit.
Most men like the freedom to do as they want, when they want, so committing to a relationship is not an attractive proposition.
Do you want to limit his freedoms ?
Do you want to know where he is all the time, who he is with, and freak out if he doesn’t text you back immediately?
You’ll scare him off.
He needs to know you respect the fact that he has to have the freedom he requires and you trust him.
8. Men freak out about babies and weddings
Nothing scares a man off faster than a woman talking about babies and weddings when first dating.
Hold off with any talk on that subject for at least the first year or you will scare him away completely.
If you look at the quote, Rita Rudner sums the situation up very aptly 🙂
9. Are you “the one” ?
Perhaps he worries that you are not “the one”?
It’s perfectly possible he has dated lots of women and is still looking for “the one.”
It takes a man much longer to be ready for commitment.
He feels he has so much to give up, his freedom in particular, so respect his thought processes …
Rushing him to make a decision will destroy your chances completely.
10. Men like variety
Men are easily bored and they like variety.
He may not be ready to commit to just one woman just yet.
This could be linked to immaturity, of course, or perhaps he is a “player” with no intention of settling down with any one women …
Or, perhaps none of his friends have settled down yet, and he doesn’t want to be the first one.
How do you get a man to commit to you?
Here’s a brief summary of his problem – it may be one, it may be more :
So now you know the main reasons why some men find it so difficult to commit …
You realise you need to handle this situation very delicately …
What To Do Next: Download This Free E-book
If you are ready to discover much more about how to get a man to commit to you, download my free 30 page e-book.
It’s helped so many women understand and gently hook their man with a 7 step-by step process 🙂
You will no longer need to wonder and worry …
The answer to relationship success is inside … there’s a short free video as well 🙂
Inside this free e-book, you’ll discover:
- The 7 things you need to do to make him fall in love
- Why love scares him and how you can make him more comfortable being in a relationship
- Exactly how to transition from girlfriend to fiancée, without scaring him away
- How to speak his language so he REALLY listens and understands you
- How to win over his family and friends – the key to his adoration
Click on this link and you’ll be taken through to the download page …
Enter your first name and primary email address for instant access.
I’ll also be happy to share even more resources with you, so wondering how do you get a man to commit to you? is not a problem for you 🙂
Have you had problems trying to get a man to commit? What did you do?